Anger Fades Love Stays
by sapphirehearts
Summary: ONESHOT: I was the one who never let you know that I loved you and that I still love you. I will always love you.


**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANY OF IT'S CHARACTERS.**

**Author's Note: I did not write this. My friend wrote this but she is too chicken to post it so I am. All and any reviews will be forwarded to her and I hope people like it. Reviews are lovely. Criticism is welcome. I won't get mad and neither will my friend. I promise. Enjoy!**

Hermione awoke slowly, when she felt a gentle tug on her hand. She opened her eyes to see a mop of red hair on top of a strained face staring at her.

"Are you awake?" Ron whispered quietly to her.

"I am now," she replied curtly. She had just fallen asleep minutes before and was enjoying that time of peace. It was something that she hadn't gotten a lot of recently. In fact peace and sleep were a rare occurrence in these past months. She sat up from her spot on the ground, looking around the small enclosed room. They were at Hogwarts, hiding out while waiting for Voldermort to come for the final battle. The Room of Requirement had been helpful once more for them, though just for Ron and Hermione. Harry refused to stay in one place that night. He was going around, checking the extra precautions that had been put up around the grand castle. He wanted to save as many lives as possible when the time came tomorrow.

"Hermione." Ron repeating her name over and over took her out of her trance, "are you afraid?"

She was startled by this question, not expecting it at all. She looked into his eyes and for the first time, she saw the honest look on his face. He was afraid.

"Honestly," she paused for a moment, never one to be good with feelings and emotions, "I'm more afraid than I've ever been in my life. If I die tomorrow, there are so many things that have yet to have happened in my life. Things I wanted to happen. But I know that whatever is going to happen is going to happen. There's nothing I can do to stop anything from happening."

"I love you."

"Wh-what?" Hermione looked at him trying to figure if he was making a joke. If he was, it was one of the worst jokes known to mankind. His face turned bright red. "I-I'm sorry. I had to say it. I couldn't let you go into the battle thinking that no guy loves you. Because I do."

Hermione wasn't sure how to respond. She wanted to express her feelings but couldn't. She couldn't confess her love, then go and possibly die the next day. She couldn't do that to Ron. Instead she settled on giving him a kiss. It started out softly, then got more heated and passionate as the minutes ticked by. Minute by minute, Hermione let her feelings show, not once expressing it in words.

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"It's been a year Ronald. A long and tough year." Hermione looked down at the tombstone in front of her, hating the mere sight of it. It represented so much, so much hatred, anger, sadness. She settled down on the ground, careful of the bundle in her arms. She needed to do this, it was getting harder and harder to hold her emotions in each day.

"I'm so angry, so very angry with you. You left me a year ago, after you told me that you loved me. I thought you loved me. I really believed it. I thought that maybe, after the final battle, I would tell you how I felt. We would get married and have beautiful intelligent red-haired children. That night, after you said you loved me, after I slept with you, as I laid in your arms, I thought of these things.

"Then when I woke up, you had already left the room. Why Ron, why did you do that? Later, I realized it was to protect me. I mean to say, that was a nice thought of you to try and lock me in the Room of Requirement, but you have to remember, I am the brightest witch of my age. I of course got through that.

"As soon as I figured out what you did, I got out. I ran, ran through all the bodies, there were so many, so many familiar faces, so many I knew and loved, just so many. I ran and ran as I didn't see you or Harry anywhere. When I saw that you were alive, I knew I had to find you and tell you how I felt. You needed to know. I needed you to know that I loved you.

"Then I found Harry, who already looked defeated. I stopped my search for you to talk to him. If only I hadn't stopped. Maybe then I would have been able to save you." Hermione stopped for a minute, her voice catching in her throat. She didn't think she could go on for much longer. She furiously wiped at her eyes with her hand, trying to calm herself down. She took a deep breath before she continued talking.

"After helping Harry battle some Death Eaters, I remembered to continue my search for you. Finally, I found you, on the grounds, fighting with Bellatrix LeStrange. I've never seen you fight like that, then I looked on the ground next to you and there was Fred, barely breathing. I was ready to jump in to help when Bellatrix shouted the Killing Curse, you not realizing it.

"I cried out as you crumpled to the ground, your body now lifeless. Bellatrix turned to look at me and someone next to me, who I did not realize at the time was Neville, a happy gleam in her eye. I can barely remember the next few minutes, as I was in a rage. Later, I was told that I charged towards her, intent on killing her, but Neville held me back. He used an Unforgivable Curse, something no one thought he was capable of, killing her minutes after she had killed you. No one has any remorse for that horrible woman.

"Soon after that, I guess I was sobbing over your body, not wanting to let go. Sometime during this, Harry defeated Voldermort and we were all safe, though I didn't feel safe. I still don't. Your mother eventually came and took me away from you.

"After I had time to think I realized I was angry with you. No not angry" I was pissed off at you. You left me. You told me you loved me and then you left, what I was afraid of happening. I loved you so much but I didn't get to tell you.

"Then just as I was starting to be able to live again, I realized something, something that I never thought would happen to me. I found out I was pregnant. Pregnant with your child and you were dead.

"I had a terrible pregnancy. Honestly, if you had been here with me, everything would have been so much better. Your mother was constantly fussing over me, which shocked me because I was 18 years old, unmarried, and pregnant. Perhaps it was because it was your child. Fred was also helpful to me and still is. He feels guilty that your life was taken because of him. I tell him to stop worrying about that, it doesn't matter, at least he is still alive.

"Joshua Ronald Weasley was born on March 1. I nearly laughed at the irony of him being born on your birthday but I couldn't. He's as stubborn as you are and I love him just as much. He has your red hair. Joshua is the one thing I have of you." Hermione looked down at her son, sleeping peacefully in his mother's arms. He had no clue the world he was born into. He was full of innocence, something Hermione had lost long ago. Looking at her son, anger surged through her. What was she going to say to him when he one day asked about his dad? Was that going to take away her son's innocence?

"I hate you Ron," she whispered fiercely. "Why did you die? Why? Why didn't you fight harder? You could have, I know. I knew you so well, I know you were capable of fighting Bellatrix. Why did you give in so soon? If you hadn't given up, we could have been a family." She traced her fingers over the words "Ronald Bilius Weasley. Beloved son, brother, and friend." She hated it. It should be able to say more. He should have amounted to so much more.

"After you died, I was so angry you didn't fight harder. I refused to go to your funeral. I wish I would have gone. Harry gave a beautiful speech, from what I've heard. I was just so angry. This is the first time I've come. It's been hard, so damn hard.

"As the days went on though, I realized I was the one I was angry with. I was the one who against everything I would usually be and slept with you. I was the one who let myself think I was so safe in your arms and would always be safe with you. I was the one who never let you know that I loved you and that I still love you. I will always love you. I just couldn't bring myself to say it.

"Truthfully, I screwed everything up. I let you die not knowing that I loved you. Maybe if you had known that I loved you, you would have stayed with me. Everything would be okay, you would be alive with me. If only I had told you.

"Thinking back, I was so selfish. I didn't want to hurt you by telling you that, then possibly dying. It wouldn't have hurt you. It could have saved you. I wish I would have let you know. And I'm sorry that I didn't."

Slowly Hermione stood up. She stood for one more minute, the wind flying through her hair and looked at the tombstone. She placed her hand on it one last time, then turned and left, never looking back.


End file.
